We Have Achieved a Face

Because I’m 35 and fall right on that “you’re old” category I get to have about a million tests. I mean, that’s cool I want to make sure our baby is healthy and be prepared if, G-d forbid, the li’l tadpole is not. So today we had our first trimester testing. It just lets you know more accurately what your chances are for chromosomal abnormalities like Downs Syndrome. It’s not a diagnosis but it allows you to make a more informed decision regarding amniocentesis, and let’s face it, not everyone is hip on having a foot long needle plunged into their abdomen. I know I’m not. But I digress…so the test includes a sonogram and a blood test. The sono is to measure a little spot on the back of the baby’s neck and the blood test measures increased levels of some enzyme or other, in any event, the sonographer needs a profile view of the baby to get the proper measurement and after bouncing my belly around a bit (and a little walk around the doctor’s office, stubborn li’l thing…it must be a boy) to get the li’l squirt to turn over, there it was. Oh my G-d, a little face, big giant alien forehead, a tiny little dent where the eyes are, a itsy bitsy button of a nose, cute little kisser and a chin. All that and the whole thing is only about 2 ½ inches long, although the head is about 50% of that.

It’s miraculous this pregnancy thing. I was an absolute mess for days, anxiety coming out of my ears, worried about how in the world we’re going to afford maternity leave or daycare and all it took to calm me down was to see that little face and those tiny arms and legs. If you had told me 4 months ago that I’d be pregnant I’d have told you that you were crazy, asked you if you had a fever, and now? This little human growing inside me has the ability to calm me down when nothing and no one else can, makes me feel love in a way that I’ve never experienced before, and brings me a joy that I’d never have expected despite the anxiety and worry about being able to afford parenthood. What a strange phenomenon.